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Something weird happened to me a few weeks ago.
For some background: I am a crazy Type A planner who feels the need to plan her entire day in 30-min increments in her calendar, uses this as a time tracker to see where I’m spending my time and how long things actually take (has that “only 1 hour” project ever only been 1 hour? No! I know about planning fallacy, topic for a future post, and I should know by now to multiply any new project timeline at least 2-3x its original optimistic estimate), and tries to cram as many things into her day as possible to feel super productive.
So what happened: A few weeks ago, it was one of those days that I nailed all the things on my to-do list starting from 6:15am to 10pm. Here is a screenshot of my actual Google calendar of that day. (Yes I put in “shower” time or else I forget I need to include “shower” time into my day and “showering” actually takes time! You think I joke…Also, any GTD folks will see I don’t use the GTD method well, as I list other things beyond the “hard landscapes” into my calendar…I’m working on it!).
Was I productive? Yes! I fucking nailed it that day in terms of self/home care, creating, being organized, networked, and even did coaching for a prospective client.
But did I feel human? No!
At the end of that day, when I was looking over my calendar, I can visually see that I did all the things I wanted to do. But because I laid them out so strictly on my calendar, I was constantly going back to the calendar to see what I’m supposed to be doing next and not have to “think” about what to do next.
In a way, this has helped me be very productive - and not only like work productive, but my own life and health productive like the meditation and walking outside (they won’t happen unless I remind myself, I didn’t even meditate twice that day actually). It took away my need to use my cognitive resources to make a decision on what to do next, as I already know what I need to do at any given moment for a productive day.
What I realized was, I was on autopilot. Now, I would normally say being on autopilot is a good thing - you are freeing your cognitive resources to do other things. For example, being in the state of flow while writing my newsletter is good, as I won’t have distracting thoughts about other things, so I can focus all my attention and working memory on creating it. So from a brain perspective, I nailed it.
But from a “heart” perspective, something was missing. I didn’t LIVE my day. I didn’t FEEL ANYTHING about this productivity and accomplishment. When I tried to recall the day on my own, I couldn’t.
It’s like when you drive to work on the exact same route and you are so on autopilot that you don’t know how you even got there when you arrive. That was exactly how I felt this day. I accomplished my goals but when I thought back, I couldn’t remember what I did or how I felt during each moment.
I felt disengaged from my own life.
I was optimizing for productivity and was so focused on getting it all done that I forgot to live and feel.
This was a strong wake-up call for me personally that I may be literally missing my life as I optimize for productivity.
It’s a very strange, disembodied feeling of not living in your own body and not even connected to who you are and how you feel despite on the surface of getting things done.
Has this ever happened to you? What do you notice when this happens?
If you haven’t, lucky you!
But if you have, what strategies can you employ to bring back that sense of connection and engagement with yourself throughout the day? How can you cultivate presence while living your own life so you can be productive AND living in it fully and not miss the experience?
It’s 2020 guys, I’m sure you know by now that the answer is MINDFULNESS.
We want to use mindfulness to notice when our attention is not aligned to our intention, to reach our goals.
Definitions:
mindfulness = the awareness of our internal states
attention = a state in which cognitive resources are focused on certain aspects rather than others
intention = prior conscious decision to think certain thoughts, feel certain feelings or perform certain behaviours
goals = end states, the purpose of our actions
Here, I was too focused on my productivity goal and forgot about my goal of living a "Life that is peaceful, engaging, energetic, positive vibes, and growth.” (ok this is grammatically incorrect, sue me 🙄).
I want to feel alive each day, and feel what I’m doing and I am aware of and in control of what I’m doing, thinking, and feeling.
So my new strategy is borrowed from Brendon Burchard’s mastering transitions.
In his book High Performance Habits, he’s found that “High performers have the magical trifecta of capital “E” Energy—that holistic kind that includes positive and enduring mental, physical, and emotional vibrancy. It’s the key force that helps them perform better in many areas of their life. It’s why high performers have so much more passion, stamina, and motivation.” And the key he found to help high performers increase their energy is through mastering transitions.
Transitions are moments in your day where you go from one activity to the next. For example, when you get out of bed and go get freshened up in the bathroom, to go make breakfast in the kitchen, to go eat, to start your first virtual meeting, etc. As each event ends, there’s a transition. What Brendon suggests is that the key to feeling high energy is to use these transition states wisely to “release tension” from the last event and “set intention” for the next event.
Now what I’m talking about re feeling “engaged and alive” throughout my day isn’t the same as what Brendon talks about re energy; I was feeling high energy throughout the day. It was just that I wasn’t even aware of that happening. But I like his method of using transition times.
So my new approach for my day is, when I’m switching between tasks/events, I take a moment to reflect.
I bring my attention to what I just did and how it is making me feel right now at this present moment in my body and heart.
I think about the meaning behind what I just did and how it connects to who I want to be and my dream life.
I may try to savour the feeling a little bit longer.
And I either thank myself for a job well-done or am kind to myself if what I just did brought bodily or emotional aches/pains or strayed me away from my intentions.
This whole thing only lasts max 1 minute, but it’s helping me bring awareness back to my day, and I feel like I’m actually living my days, vs just rush through it and ending the day not knowing what happened. I’m starting to feel alive and engaged again!
Today’s Action
If you feel like your days are a blur and you don’t even feel like you’re living in it anymore, try this. This entire thing should take only a minute or a few minutes.
At each transition moments (i.e., between tasks or events), bring your attention to the present.
You may need to take 3 deep breathes to do so, or become aware of the soles of your feet touching the ground, or the palms of your hands touching your desk.
As your attention settles, feel what it’s like to be in your body right now.
Feel what it’s like in your heart right now.
If it feels good, rest in this goodness for a few moments longer.
Reflect on the meaning behind what you just did - did it help you take one tiny step closer to whom you see yourself as or whom you see yourself becoming? Did it take you one tiny step closer to your dream?
If yes, thank yourself or feel gratitude towards yourself.
If no, that’s ok, show yourself compassion. If you “fucked up” and realized you spent the last hour scrolling aimlessly on social media, speak to yourself kindly like how you would speak to a dear or loved one when they come to you admitting their mistake. “It’s ok dear, we all make mistakes. Pick yourself up and on to the next thing!"
Try this out for a few days and let me know how it goes!
Until next time, Transcenders!
~Pylin
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P.P.S. I’d love to hear from you! Let me know if you love a topic, don’t like a topic, want to hear about a certain topic. I’m all about learning from others and connecting! Email me at pylin@drpylin.com